From nothing to something (2): The short-sighted Dutchman

In my opinion, I had Margje Fikse expected an unkempt man with a long beard and with hair like dreadlocks. I think that before my arrival in her studio she imagined that I would be surrounded by shit flies, that I would be wearing three layers of clothes and would stink from 3 weeks of not showering, that I would be pushing a shopping cart with all my belongings in Aldi bags and half a liter of Schultenbräu in front of me into the NOS building, only to then join her in the studio drunk, burping and farting to talk about homelessness. talk?

But you just look good

With some surprise she said "but you just look good? It was like a world opened up for Margje at that moment, and you know Margje, I didn't even blame you. I think a lot of people have that image when they talk about homeless people. Fortunately for us homeless people, this is different. I bet most of us walk the streets unrecognized among others.

Emergency shelter in Purmerend

It was a week ago that I reported to the emergency shelter in Purmerend. It was 9 p.m. when the door opened and a girl in her twenties answered the door. Outside it was cold, I was carrying my backpack that had been my best friend in recent years in my journey through South America. Never in those years had I had to sleep on the streets. Outside it is cold, I think back to just a few months back when I didn't even need to own a coat so warm it was.

In the living room sat about ten generally just-dressed men of various ages, ethnicity, religion and background watching the same television screen. It was a nice big flat screen, not the first thing I would expect in an emergency shelter but then later I learn that it was donated by a church. The girl who answered the door was new, a substitute, she had only been working there for a few days, and you could tell, it was all a bit awkward.

It's not fucking normal

There was a slight tension, a menacing atmosphere, one that I recognized from prison. When you have lost everything, your last possessions - which may seem silly in good times - are your only hold. And you defend them. Your spot on the couch, the program you want to watch, the few minutes you have to shower and your cup of tea. 'It's not fucking normal! You guys look like pigs!" roars a new roommate as he thunders into the living room visibly disappointed. 'Is it so damn much to ask that the bathroom be left a little tidy, I have no intention of showering in someone else's dregs and shitholes!' Almost emotionally, he then drops off to cool off and smoke a shaggie. It often happens that emotions, which in my eyes are often still about small things, threaten to get out of hand.

A bed for 150 euros

The emergency shelter, a detached spacious single-family house from 1956 looks tidy, the 15 or so male residents share three bedrooms and 1 shower, the two women share a separate room and have their own shower. From 21:00 to 8:00 this place is my temporary shelter, because there are more homeless people than beds in Purmerend every three or four days it will be determined if I am still entitled to my bed. If I want to use the shelter I will pay a personal contribution of 5 euros per night just like everyone else. I'm lucky, in Purmerend you can have this 5 euros written down with an IOU at the time when, like me, you have no money. You then pay it when you have income again. In other cities, such as Zaandam, where you pay 7.5 euros per night, you have to pay directly.

If you didn't know any better, you would think that getting out of a situation where you have nothing is easy. But believe me, it's not that easy. With zero euros in your pocket you are very limited, you can't travel easily, you can't buy hygiene products so that you can still get a bit of a decent living, and you depend on the kindness of others for food. At the night shelter you can get a hot meal 5 days of the week, at the day care too, so with a little planning it is doable, at least if you have a bicycle.

168 euros per hour

'Ah here it is,' the supervisor at the Brijder says to me when I stop by the day care center one day. 'There are 100 of them. According to last year's survey, Purmerend has about 35 homeless people and 65 homeless people, which is double the number four years ago.' 'Nonsense shouts a fellow sufferer to me from across the room, there are many more of us.' I think for a moment and decide I agree with my fellow sufferer. I have met so many homeless people in recent days that 35 seems on the low side to me. On weekdays, we homeless are welcome here between 9:30 a.m. and 1 p.m. at the daycare, a warm cup of coffee, a chat and some help where possible. Brijder is happy, or at least the director of Brijder is happy. Today, the newspaper reports that the Purmerend city council is making extra money available for the daycare: 174,720 euros to be exact, so they can open on "weekdays from 9:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. According to Het north hollanddaily newspaper it is "Probably then the daycare could be open from nine in the morning to five in the afternoon, but that is still being looked into" in my head I quickly calculate what this means for the taxpayers... 174 thousand is 15,000 euros a month, a mere 700 euros per 4 hours, 168 euros per hour. That's expensive coffee, especially when you consider there are 5 of us sitting here today. Where does that money go anyway, I almost thought out loud.

I am aware that I have put myself in this situation. If only I had finished my studies, if only I had started working for a boss, why not go back to Venezuela after all, are thoughts that come up regularly. All thoughts that are not going to help me today, so I decide to let them go rather quickly.

Just apply

'Surely you can just get benefits,' Margje Fikse says confidently, sitting next to me in the studio I think Thierry Baudet is nodding along. In my mind I am happy for Margje, she will probably never have needed benefits. Neither did I before this event, but I learned pretty quickly that applying for benefits is not that easy. For starters, you need an address, and I didn't have one. In fact, because of my stay outside the Netherlands, I didn't even have a BSN (social security number) anymore. In addition, the processing time for an application for benefits can be 8 weeks, and, especially as a homeless person, you are stuck with a long list of obligations. For example, you have to report where you sleep every day. Some of my roommates even have to forward almost every move via SMS, if you don't do that then your rights expire. 8 weeks without any income is a long time, even as a homeless person and especially as a homeless person who wants to get his affairs in order as soon as possible. For example, I recently spoke to a homeless person in Amsterdam. He had given the Vondelpark as his sleeping address. Actually you are not allowed to lie there but he had a nice spot. One evening he thought he saw police, so he went for a walk around the block; later it turned out that they were members of the social investigation department to see if he was really there. They couldn't find him, immediately stopped his social track. When I met him at the homeless desk, he had to apply again from step one. Also in Purmerend I speak with fellow sufferers for whom it is not strange that enforcement comes at 6:00 in the morning to check if you are really lying on the bench you declared earlier at the station.

I don't want benefits at all

I don't even want benefits, I think, feeling like I'm wasting my time just a little after eight in the morning in the lobby of the hospital. Ideally, I'd like to get a job somewhere today. Unfortunately, finding a job is not that easy. Tight I have another job application, but everything has been unsuccessful so far. I don't think it helps either that I quit college twice early, have a criminal record, and that everything I've done has been as an independent contractor.

236 euros per month

Between 8 a.m. and 9 p.m., I don't have a roof over my head. I don't yet have a day job, so I spend many of those hours in the hospital hallway and the library. Plenty of time anyway to learn from other experiencers what the world of the homeless looks like, and especially plenty of time to mull over the crookedness of some things in the system. A system that, in my mind, tends to help people get further into trouble instead of getting people out.

That's weird, says the newly-adult homeless person to me. I get 236.35 Euros of assistance per month, from that I have to pay about 150 Euros to the night shelter, then I'm left with about 86 Euros and I haven't even paid my health insurance. What am I supposed to live on?

Waiting lists

In Purmerend they have the Algemeen Opvangcentrum Purmerend (AOP), the night shelter where I stay is part of this organization. In Purmerend, a municipality with just under 80,000 inhabitants, the AOP is the organization you need to go to as a homeless person. Even before my arrival in Purmerend, I had applied for the regular trajectory, a temporary (emergency) accommodation with housing guidance. The waiting time for this trajectory varies a lot, I have spoken to people who have been waiting 10 months for housing and I have heard from others that it could be much faster. My intake will take place somewhere within two weeks, but that could just as well be after two months if I have to believe my housemates.

It's December 12, it's my birthday. Just after 4:30 in the afternoon, I walk in the back door of my mother's house. My poor mother, she hasn't really hit it off with this son....

To be continued